Look What You're Doing To Me
by RebeccaDewing93
Summary: Phoebe is the most dangerous prisoner on the Ark. Jaha sends her to die. But she isn't quite ready for that yet. Kane/OC
1. Chapter 1

Look What You're Doing To Me (Prologue)

Bare feet padded down the hallway. The cool metal almost burned Phoebe's feet. It was too cold. And the blood was so warm. She remembered so distinctly the way hitting an artery was like opening a dam. Spatter still stained her white hair. Her hair, she was always teased about it, but it was a genetic condition, one she couldn't control. 'Grandma' they called her. It didn't bother her that much, but it was still annoying. Anyways, back to the present she thought. She was alone in a part of the Ark she had never ventured. She was 12 years old. She had a bloody knife in her hand and was wearing a nightgown from the past. She should have been crying. That's what a normal person would do. But Phoebe was no normal person. She had seen her parents floated. For most, they could move on, but not her. She wanted vengeance.


	2. Chapter 2

Look What You're Doing To Me-Chapter 1

Phoebe began her day like anyone else on the Ark. She headed down to the Mess Hall in search of her daily rations. She wasn't supposed to be seen by anyone particularly a guard, unless it was Cadet Blake. She could only trust him. For his mother had been the one to look after her after her parents' death. The best way she could repay her was knocking people off of her list. The male officers who abused her were served revenge from Phoebe. With her parents' deaths, Phoebe had gotten quite lonely and so she taught herself skills. Her dream as a girl was to go to Earth and become a Queen. Nowadays she knew she had been ridiculous. She was a cold-blooded killer, an assassin in her own right. Her worn black long-sleeved shirt helped her blend in with the crowd of people swarming around the mess to get their food to bring home to their families. Family was a tricky word. It didn't quite describe what she had lost. She had lost a place to stay and love, but not family. She refused to believe that.

The flow of the mess eventually established itself. She was swimming upstream, but it allowed her to pick-pocket without being noticed. No one paid attention to the 17 year old with a hood over her face. But today someone did. And that would be the end of her freedom.

Marcus Kane was not a particularly nice person, but not a mean one. Abby Griffin disagreed. He was always quick to make a brutal decision, one that would cost lives. Later that year it would be his idea to send Phoebe Johnson to the ground. To the man who knew almost everything that happened on the Ark, Phoebe had always blended in. She was the child who had seen her parents floated and not said a word. She floated through the daycare system until she disappeared without a trace. Her distinct white hair had always set her apart from the other children her age. It was a condition called vitiligo and it had only affected the pigment in her hair. With her wispy white hair she floated through the Ark like a fairy as a child. She was never particularly happy, but never the opposite as well. Marcus Kane thought he noticed something in the mess hall. Someone had just nicked a pack of cigarettes and two extra sets of rations and a watch for good measure. The figure floated away towards the residential area. He decided her would follow. His two personal guards were ordered to track down this pick-pocket. Marcus Kane had a strictly no-crime policy. And for the last four years a serial killer had gotten away with the murder of dozens of officers. Perhaps the pickpocket knew something. Never in a million dreams would he have guessed they were the same person.

Phoebe's pockets where comfortably full with the fruits of her labor. The watch would be a gift for Octavia, who had recently just turned sixteen. The rations were for herself and Octavia. She could have gotten more, but it was too risky. The cigarettes were for Bellamy and her to share later that night.

Mercury must have been in retrograde or something because she felt like someone was following her. In fact, three people were following her. She counted their steps and their pace. It was three men, maybe 150-200 pounds. She took a sharp left and climbed up into the vent where she had spent her childhood. Stuffed animals, dirty clothes riddled with holes, and empty ration packets littered her little hideout. Just as she was closing the grate she saw the three men approaching. She had made it in the nick of time. She watched them silently, none of them were particularly handsome, and she thought about why that had occurred to her. She had never been super interested in anyone's physical appearance before. She dismissed the thought. And removed her hoodie as the vents tended to get quite warm. She braided her hair messily and ran her hands through it. The braid was as good as it was gonna get. She placed a hand forward reaching for the screwdriver to seal the vent. Her hand fell and she collapsed through the grate. Shit. She made quite the commotion when she returned to the ground. Marcus Kane whipped around and saw the streak of white hair and knew it was her. Phoebe knew she was royally fucked. She got up to run and that she did. She could hear Kane and his guards in pursuit and she knew there was no way to outrun them, she would have to outsmart them.

She hadn't been sighted in years and was becoming quite the legend in the inner circle of the Ark's leaders. Some wondered if she had ever existed. And boy oh boy she knew they knew the truth now. She had been so careful, for her to get caught like this was the ultimate worst thing that could have happened. She knew she would be floated if she was caught. That thought was what fueled her to run raster. She was a whole hallway ahead of them when she saw the open door to the Blake's. She sprinted inside and shut the door and watched them run by pursuing a non-existent entity. A sigh of relief exited her mouth as she slid down the door. No one was home, except for Octavia who was thrilled to see her friend. Phoebe opened the door slot and helped Octavia up right as the door was broken down. Motherfucker. That was the only thing she had to say.

Kane knew she had to be in one of the houses. That was the only logical explanation. No human could run that fast, it would be a waste of oxygen. He was halfway through the hallway when he broke down the correct door. Finally. She looked like a deer in the headights when the guards pointed their guns towards her. Phoebe knew there was only one course of action to keep her and Octavia alive. She roughly shoved Octavia back down into the floor and slid across the room knocking through the guard's legs. She brought her fists against their kneecaps as she slid through the wide legs of Kane. She quickly got up when she went flying backwards. Someone had snatched her braid. Her mother had always told her that long hair was a hassle. Oh how she wished for her mother then. She felt the butt of a gun smack her in the back of the head and heard Octavia screaming in the distance. Her vision was fuzzy but this was not how she was going to go down. She pulled out her knife and began to fight the guard who had a hold of her hair. No one touched Grandma's hair. She slit his throat with relative ease. This shocked Kane and the last guard. She felt the butt of the gun fall down again and this time it was strong enough to knock her out. Shit was the last word that crossed her mind.

The room spun as she came to. Abby Griffin stood next to her monitoring vitals. Murmurs of a conversation came into being.

"Was that necessary Marcus?" 

"She ran"

"You aren't exactly a welcoming person"

"Shut the fuck up"

"She's awake"

"How are you feeling Phoebe?"

"I feel like an asshole hit me in the head twice".

She realized as she attempted to punch Kane that she was chained to the bed. Fuck.

"Why am I restrained?"

"You killed a guard"

"Good"

"You also show no lack of remorse, you are sentenced to death"

"Whoops!"

"Take her away"

I was tossed in a dark damp cell in the "sky". It was a shitty situation. I had one window allowing me to see the beauty of space. It wasn't as pretty knowing I would be dying in a year. I had finally discovered that the bed was somewhat comfortable, so I journeyed over there. I had barely closed my eyes before Kane came storming in. I scrambled for the door to meet him. The top of my head met his eyes. But I wasn't scared.

"What do you want. I was just enjoying my new accommodations Kane." 

"I know you did it"

"I am afraid I do not know what you're talking about"

"I think you do"

"Enlighten me"

"You're the one who's responsible for twenty three guards dying"

"No shit Sherlock"

"What does that mean?" 

"It's a saying"

"It's a bad one" 

"Is this banter, Kane?" 

"See you tomorrow"

"What's tomorrow?" 

"I'm sending you to the ground"

Okay, breathe Phoebe. I wasn't afraid necessarily but I wasn't fearless. I was going home. Well, to my real home. The Ark was no home of mine. I knew my chances of survival were low, but still there. If the radiation didn't kill me first, I would starve. There is no way of knowing whether or not there is edible food down there. I have spent my whole life on a mutated space station and tomorrow I die. Life is a little messed up at the moment. I should have tried to seduce Kane into letting me be floated. It would be less painful than radiation slowly killing me.

The morning came faster than Phoebe would have liked. Kane's two guards (one of them was new- oops!) escorted her to the dropship. A metal bracelet was inserted and she was the only one who didn't groan with the pain. Her seat was special. She was locked in. She turned to see Kane.

"So you don't die"

"You son of a-"

The dropship doors shut and all of a sudden they began their descent. Home.


	3. Chapter 3

Look What You're Doing To Me

Phoebe decided to ponder as the dropship made its descent. She reflected on her excuse of a childhood. She remembered how her mother would brush her hair and call her the ice queen. Phoebe missed her mother's hands most of all. The way they would hold her during moments of joy or sickness. Phoebe remembered that morning most of all. The way Kane had looked at her when she woke up. Concern riddled it. No one had ever had that look except her parents.

The room started to spin as she thought more about this. Then she realized it was the dropship that was spinning. And then she noticed the boy. He had gone out of his seat and floated over to the girl she knew as Clarke. Phoebe had pickpocketed from Clarke a number of times. Clarke was sure of herself and a bit of a goody-two shoes. Those were two qualities that Phoebe despised. But the boy was making her annoyed. That made Phoebe want to be his best friend. A small whimper from the corner woke her from her reverie and she matched eyes with Octavia. She had no idea if she would be with her and there she was sitting across from her. Phoebe had been so preoccupied with trying to break out of her chair she hadn't noticed her best friend. Maybe five years ago Phoebe would have experienced guilt. But that was no longer a trait she possessed. All her empathy had been whittled away by loneliness. But Octavia allowed her to be human for a fleeting moment. To experience true emotions and a glimpse of empathy. But it disappeared as quickly as it came.

Over on the other side of the drop ship many others had taken Spacewalker's lead. Their moment of bliss was short lived. Literally. A large bang enveloped those enclosed in the dropship. And then there was blackness and a blinding heat that wrapped them up in its arms.

When Phoebe woke up she was alone. No one had bothered to cut her loose. Blood was slowly dripping from her head onto the sterile floor. Her ears were ringing loudly and she couldn't feel her legs. A moment of panic escaped her at the thought of being crippled. She would cripple Kane in return if it was true.

She waited for what felt like hours, listening to the cheers of the others and the sounds of Earth. She figured the radiation wasn't an issue. Or at least an immediate one. The air was crisp and lush. It seemed to fill her lungs with hope and the promise of a fresh start. With every inhale a newness inhabited her and with every exhale her old roughness and her stark ruggedness evaded her. Little did Phoebe know that she would rely on that roughness more than she wanted to. As time went by, so did her hope that someone would come and release her. In this time it allowed her some peaceful reflection. She had felt remorse for killing those guards but they had deserved it. They had touched Octavia's mother. They had hurt others for themselves. It was them who deserved to be floated, not her parents.

It was Kane who had made the call. She never forgot that. He had sentenced her whole family to death. Her as well. Eventually it was Octavia who came. It was her who noticed the lack of Phoebe in the crowd of wild teenagers. She was limping and wet and bloody. Phoebe knew something bad had happened.

"Octavia, are you okay?"

"Phoebe I'm fine, let's get you out of here. I need your help."

"At least buy me a drink"

Octavia had a bittersweet smile on her face. While her friend was back, she knew that her humanity was slowly disappearing. She knew that the Earth would only speed up that process.

When Phoebe's heavy duty boots hit the soft and earthy soil the first thing she did was cry. She hadn't cried in a very long time. Kane thought he had killed her. This was the biggest fuck you she could give him. But she mourned. She mourned that she wouldn't see her parents as soon as she wished. As quickly as the tears came they were gone.

Phoebe took in the surroundings. Many were making out or making weapons. Phoebe just pulled out her flask and took a swig of Monty's moonshine. Octavia acted unsurprised but the others were shooting Phoebe weird looks. There wasn't some cliche moment where time stood still and everyone stared, but some did.

She was a myth on the Ark. And she was on the ground with them. She wasn't afraid of them and they weren't of her. She hoped it would stay that way.

Over in the corner near the tree line Clarke and Bellamy were arguing about something while Monty looked on upset. Octavia disclosed to her what happened to Jasper. Goggle kid. They weren't the only ones on Earth. Phoebe wasn't someone who was afraid often but the unknown was always frightening. She resolved to help find Jasper for Octavia because she was her friend. Natural selection existed for a reason. And it was a bitch.


	4. Chapter 4

Look what ur doing to me two

The following morning was precedented by a night of fitful sleep. Phoebe had been used to this pertinent insomnia. Her past sins had paid a heavy toll on her conscience. When she woke her white hair was knotted and the previous days braids were slowly falling apart. She had dreamt of Kane and the Ark. She had never thought of the Ark as a home, but she missed her little vent. Phoebe missed the joy she felt when she had successfully nicked a ration card. It never suited her well to dwell on the past.

She sat up abruptly and pulled her hair out of the braids roughly. Today was the day that Octavia would lead the charge to find Jasper. She ran her fingers through her hair to release the tangles. Her head poked out of the tent and she realized that they had left without her. Bellamy revealed that to her with a smirk on her face. He seemed oddly satisfied that Octavia had neglected her in her hurry to find Jasper.

Phoebe braided her hair in a hurry. She was determined to set off after them but before she could Bellamy's hand met her chest with some force.

"You're not going princess"

"Like hell I'm not"

Bellamy pulled out a gun and aimed it at Phoebe's chest. Phoebe closed the distance between them until the mouth was pressing into her sternum.

"I'm not afraid to die"

"Don't stay away from my sister and I will make sure you will be"

Bellamy switched the safety off. Phoebe was unfazed.

"You would be doing everyone here a service if you pull the trigger Bellamy. But you don't have the balls to do it."

And with that Phoebe stormed back into her tent. She grabbed her makeshift pack and stuffed it with her jacket and her weird metal knife she had made. As she unfolded the jacket to stuff it a piece of paper fell out. It read

Be safe. Don't die. That's my job to do.

Phoebe didn't need to read the rest to know it was from Kane.

She hoisted her pack over her shoulder and stormed out of camp, making direct eye contact with Bellamy. He gave the order for his men to let her out. She left determined with a heaviness in her step.

Clarke and company had just discovered Jasper and were unsure of how to get him down. Unbeknownst to Phoebe, Bellamy had left to join them. Clarke had the idea to charge forward because Jasper was dying. Without Bellamy's help she would have been impaled by the sharp wooden spikes concealed by the earth.

In the hustle to remove Jasper from the post no one heard the panther growling or it's stealthy approach. Bellamy reached for his gun in his waistband, but his hand was met with emptiness. Wells was firing the gun aimlessly (literally).

Luckily for them, Phoebe had completely disregarded Bellamy's threat. She pounced as the panther did and landed on top of it. If Phoebe had claws they would have sunken into the panthers back.

Octavia yelled at Bellamy to stop shooting but it was too late. A stray bullet had lodged itself in Phoebe's shoulder. She released a piercing cry which launched her off of the panther. The panther had a makeshift knife sticking out of its stomach. That didn't stop it from attacking Phoebe. Eventually Wells had managed to successfully shoot the panther. Phoebe rose covered in a mix of dirt and blood. She looked like she was about to pass out. Wells and Monty were hoisting Jasper onto their shoulders. Octavia rushed to Phoebe's side just as her eyes rolled back and she collapsed to the ground.

Back on the Ark Abby and Kane had been watching Phoebe's vitals and saw hers take a hit. They knew she was unconscious. And that made Kane worry more than he thought was appropriate.

Abby had noticed the worry lines that had formed on Kane's face. She had always known he had felt attached to the girl. But this was unusually, even for him.

When Phoebe woke up her head was pounding and the room was fuzzy. Octavia was leaning over her body as Clarke was extracting the bullet from her shoulder, or at least trying to. They were video chatting Kane and Abby. Phoebe tried to sit up but it shot a searing pain up her side. Immediately her head started to swim. Clarke and Octavia were yelling at her to lie down but Phoebe was stubborn.

"I want to fucking sit up"

"Octavia and I agree it's too soon"

"Don't tell me what to do"

"Sit down now!" Said Kane.

Phoebe refused as Clarke was still trying to dig out the bullet.

"Screw this"

Phoebe shoved Clarke gently and used two fingers to reach into the wound and pull out the bullet pieces. Phoebe let out a small scream of anguish. Kane's face wore a pained expression at seeing her in such pain.

"I'd like to speak with Phoebe alone" said Kane

"But I should stay" said Clarke

Everyone left the room except Clarke. Eventually Kane asked her to leave as well. This left Kane and Phoebe alone in the dropship.

Phoebe sat on the makeshift operating table in her cargo pants and sports bra. She felt vulnerable in a new way under Kane's gaze.

"I'm sorry" said Kane

"For what?"

"That I sent you down there"

"Why?"

"You got hurt. That wasn't my intention"

"I thought it would be"

They sat in silence for a few moments before Phoebe got up and left. And that was that


	5. Chapter 5

Look What you're doing to me

Phoebe went to bed in excruciating pain because of her shoulder. Wells had approached her after her chat with Kane and apologized. She told him it was okay, but inside she was pissed. Her talk with Kane had lingered in her mind when her eyes drifted close. It was a revelation to learn he wasn't eager to see her hurt. She always assumed the worst of people, especially men. She knew what they were capable of. Phoebe had seen first hand the lengths they would go to get what they want.

It was near dawn when Phoebe woke up and couldn't feel her arm. She was sweaty and hot and felt nauseous. She saw her mother next to her when she worked up the energy to open her eyes. As quickly as she had appeared, she was gone.

Then the rest of the hallucinations kicked in. Phoebe began to scream when the hands came out of the ground and started to grab her. She was so catatonic she didn't see Bellamy burst into her tent and shout Clarke's name. She didn't feel them lift her up and carry her to the dropship. She started to feel again when Clarke cauterized her wound. Phoebe let out a shrill piercing cry at the shock of the burn.

She came to a couple hours later when Dr. Griffin was on the screen with Kane. They greeted her and everyone else in the dropship. Phoebe was silently crying at the pain. Her jaw hurt because Clarke hadn't given her something to bite down on when she had cauterized the wound.

Phoebe drifted in and out of consciousness for the next couple days. She finally woke up on the fourth day. Phoebe could feel her arm again. There had been a moment where she thought she was gonna lose it. She needed it to survive especially on the ground.

She was briefed on the situation with the grounders and introduced to Raven. Phoebe liked Raven especially how much Clarke didn't. Apparently Raven knew Abby and was sent to help Clarke. Bellamy had gone and fucked things up and threw the radio in the river.

Things at camp flowed smoothly for a couple of week before all hell broke loose. Murphy had been exiled and they were on the move away from camp. Raven was being carried on a stretcher when the throwing star came out of nowhere and impaled the poor boy.

Phoebe sounded the alarm and shot her gun right at the offending grounder. She shot him square in the forehead. Right between the eyes. It was no use though. Quickly and efficiently the grounders were closing in and picking off the kids.

Bellamy and Phoebe ran out of bullets right as help arrived. No one had heard the ark come crashing down the night before in the shouting and fear. Right as a grounder was about to slit Octavia's throat a bullet caught him in the hand, making him drop the knife. Octavia fell to the ground and Phoebe rushed forward to grab the knife and catch Octavia. Phoebe didn't hear the grounder coming up behind her and certainly didn't hear the spear being thrown in her direction. If Kane hadn't yelled at her to duck she would have been impaled.

Kane quickly shot the grounder in question as the rest of the Arks crew dispersed the rest of the grounders. Phoebe's arm had started to hurt from the recoil of the guns. She held onto Octavia for support. As she looked Kane in the eyes she knew she was going to answer for her crimes soon. Kane was not the type of man to let murder go. He gave her an all knowing look.

They spent the rest of the day hiking to camp jaha. When they arrived Abby embraced her daughter with tears in her eyes. It made Phoebe sad that no one was there for her. Octavia and Bellamy were hugging in the distance. Jasper and Monty were laughing together. Phoebe never felt so alone.

She probably would have stood at the entrance to the camp for days if she hadn't felt the large hand at the small of her back urging her forward. Her head shot around and made eye contact with Kane. He nodded forward to suggest she move. She just stood there with tears in her eyes. He took her hand and pulled her through the gates before handcuffing her.

Phoebe didn't put up a fight. She didn't kick or scream when the Arks guards forced her to her knees. Phoebe didn't cry anymore when they tased her. When she was sentenced to five hundred lashings, a death sentence, she didn't cry. But Octavia did. Octavia screamed and cried while Clarke and Bellamy tried to hold her back.

When the tenth lashing struck phoebe on her back she let out a scream. That's when Kane stopped. He whispered so softly only she could hear "sorry".

Then Abby invoked her power as temporary chancellor. She shouted for Kane to stop and immediately untied Phoebe from the posts. She granted phoebe an official pardon. For all twenty three murders. Phoebe was a free woman.

Later that night Phoebe would learn that Abby did what she did to save her daughter. She wanted Phoebe to sacrifice herself for Clarke later on. She wanted Phoebe to be indebted to her. It was twisted. Phoebe would be in charge of keeping Clarke safe. If Clarke died Phoebe died.

When Kane came into her tent that night and asked for her to go for a walk she knew something had changed. He wanted her to infiltrate mount weather. But first he took her face in his hands and kissed her. She thought he would be rough but he was surprisingly gentle. She took a step back and looked up at him. Her white hair shone in the moonlight. They were next to a river and Phoebe was covered in blood and dirt. Without breaking eye contact with Kane, Phoebe started to remove her clothes and take her hair out of her braid. She stepped into the water and submerged. Kane joined her.


End file.
